Review of Jimmy Lu's blog.

Here it is-- the big kahuna. Let me start off by saying I fucking hate anime freaks. Half of them are wannabe-Asians like Chewie and Aaron. And ALL of them are sexually frustrated perverts who get their jollies off of exaggeratedly drawn cartoon characters. I fucking hate it when they say, "Its not cartoons-- its anime! ^_^;;" Faggots in denial, clinging on to a twisted sense of normalcy.

Jimmy Lu is the worst amongst these anime freaks. He's the kind of faggot who'll say he's a kung fu expert from watching Dragon Ball Z repeatedly. When Peter, Ila and I visited SJSU a couple days ago, we bumped into Jimmy. Peter and I were talking about double-flush turds when Jimmy suddenly blows out water onto the floor like fucking Moby Dick. So in the five minutes we saw Jimmy, he does one excessively stupid act. That translates to twelve stupid acts an hour and 288 stupid acts a day. That boy has serious problems.

Let me quote from his blog: "Speaking of Hellsing, the stupid American version translated Alucard's name as Arucard! What idiots!!! The whole point of his name was that it was Dracula backwards!!! And they made it Arucard because the Japanese pronounce Rs like Ls, so they made it an R! >_< BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA!!!"

No comment. The faggotry speaks for itself. But remember when Jimmy showed up to graduation with a face that came out of a horror movie? He details this event in his blog:

"Wednesday was graduation, meaning no more high school! YAY! It was also the day in which I did something really stupid. I'm sorry Ju-Yu for making you worry so much, and I'm sorry that it ever happened. Please don't cry anymore. I'll be alright. I'm getting better already. I won't go into too much detail about what happened, but lets just say I had a little car accident and fell out of the car. The car was moving at about 30 miles an hour when I fell out, so naturally I skidded and rolled a few times on the ground before I came to a halt. I now have severe scrapes face, back, and arms, and minor scrapes on my legs and chest. This is perhaps the most painful experience of my life, and the biggest 'accident' that's ever happened to me. Hopefully it will be the worse I will ever encounter. I went to the hospital and everything, and I have medication and cream to treat me. The cream REALLY stings! First time I applied it, I was screaming my head off. Its better now though. This accident happened right before graduation began...talk about bad timing. -_- "

First off, normal people don't jump out of cars. As Peter said, if for some reason a normal person was suddenly struck dumb and decided to jump out of a car, they sure as fuck wouldn't think it'd be prudent to land on their face. Did it ever occur to Jimmy that maybe his nose couldn't support the weight of his body flying through the air at 30 mph? Gee, Jimmy thought to himself as the asphalt rapidly approached, I think it will be a good idea to stick my hands in my pockets now and let my face cushion the blow.

Jimmy's blog is halfway worth reading just to see what dumbshit crap he did that day. In one post, he details how happy he was to have recieved his new glasses after smashing his old ones in the "accident" mentioned above. He's jumping up and down out of excitement on his bed when he falls and smashes his face AGAIN, this time onto a bedpost thus breaking his glasses. In another post, he writes about how he was lost for several hours in a parking lot.

If there is any arguement against the validity of Darwin's Theory of Evolution, then a case example of Jimmy Lu would be it. Should this maladaptive faggot's genes ever be passed onto the next generation, then Darwin is wrong and I'll sell my soul to the Devil. The fact that Jimmy hasn't accidentally killed himself yet by drowning in his own diarrhea surprises me. But don't be shocked if Jimmy accidentally cuts off his own toes in his next post.

Actions speak louder than words, and Jimmy is a perfect example of this. He sounds stupid, but acts even more stupid. His faggot stupidity is therefore expotentialized to astronomical proportions. If anyone is feeling depressed, or feeling that they have not met up to society's expections, then I recommend reading Jimmy's blog. I promise you'll feel like the fucking pinnicle evolution after reading it.

Review of Vincent the Pussy's Xanga site. (I don't know his last name.)

Vincent's site is in a class of its own. Unlike James and Jason, he has accepted his homosexuality and doesn't whine about not getting his tampons. Instead, Vincent compensates for utterly stupid and boring life by writing excessively about it. He's thinking, "Hey! Maybe if I write twenty-six paragraphs detailing how I did NOTHING, people will think I'm cool." Well, Vincent, you didn't fool me.

Allow me to summarize just one entry, so to save you the pain and potential insanity of actually reading this bullshit. Paragraphs one through six: "I went to work at McDonalds. I'm a good worker." Paragraphs seven to twelve: "I'm a fag." Paragraphs thirteen through seventeen: "I went to church. The sermon really touched me. I'm inspired to be as faggot as I can be." Paragraphs eighteen to twenty-two: "We went to tapioca express. I drove behind a BMW." Paragraphs twenty-three through twenty-six: "What a great day."

I'm not kidding-- he really did write twenty-six paragraphs! Vincent, your time would be better spent scrubbing your grandma's back. No matter how much you write, your every waking moment is a waste of time. Its people like you who are just filling up space on this planet. Do you realize that if you were to suddenly disapear off the face of this earth, no one would notice?

Don't write anything if you don't have anything to write about. Even J. Scott Fitzgerald would be as boring as motherfucking paint-drying-on-a-cold-day if he didn't have actual content. Vincent-- you must stop trying to compensate for your pointless and boring existance by detailing every pathetic moment of it. You're a fag if you try, and it sure as fuck ain't working.

Here's my advice for putting some content in your life. Grow some testes, you oversized pussy. Oh, did nasty ol' Vadeem push you down and hurt your precious arm? Go ahead and take a swing back! Don't worry, God won't be angry at you. And nevermind getting your face smashed in, because you'd be that much closer to growing out of your diapers. Oh, and is mean ol' Gordon making fun of you? Don't be a cocksucker and whine to your mom! Your mom isn't going to earn your respect for you.

Your blog is a reflection of who you are, no matter how you put it. As long as you're a pussy-faced dicklicker, Vincent, your blog will be the exact same way. When you stop pissing sitting down, I'll give your Xanga site another chance.

Review of Jason Yeung's Xanga site.

Of all the faggot Xanga-whiner sites I've viewed, Jason Yeung's argueably takes the cake. First off, its titled, "UpTheButtJiggaWut." Very difficult to top the homosexual essense of that. Its so saturated in dumbshit faggotry, it pains me to the point of vomiting. I find it hard to find something in particular that exemplifies the essentials of Jason's site (since its all equally stupid), but this piece works fine. Jason Yeung writes:

"sigh...life is so depressing...i have all the materialistic shit i could ever want...but nothing i have ever truely makes me happy....i have a great life...a great family...great friends...yet i'm never really happy....every night all i ever do is lie there in my bed and thing about her...i go to bed crying and waking up wishing i was dead so that i wouldnt have to feel this way."

You're right, Jason. Life is depressing. Especially with dumbshit idiots like you roaming the planet! You essentialize the words, "moron," "faggot," and "pussy" to become something of a "pusmorggot." Fact being, no words can describe your sorry state of being. Do you want to know why this chick rejected your sorry ass? Because chicks look for these things in men: (1) a backbone, (2) a penis, and (3) a sense of personality. You have none of the above. You're going to die a virgin, so better start learning to suck your own dick.

Are you expecting sympathy from the audience of your Xanga site? Here's a dose of reality for you-- you have a better chance of getting sympathy from robot prison guards. Even Jesus H. Christ-- Son of God himself-- won't even feel sorry for your shit-ugly face. You're best chance of recieving affection is growing tits and allowing your faggot friend James Yi to have anal intercourse with you. It'll instantly solve both your problems too. Damn, I'm a fucking genius.

Allow me to share with you some of my wisdom. You keep pondering about suicide, but you're too much of a pussy to ever do it. Don't think of it as such a bad thing! Its easy to do, and has wonderous consequences for humanity like cleaning up the gene pool. Hanging yourself would be simply. Or you could pull a Jimmy Lu and fall on your face. It'll do both your face and us a favor.

Reading your site makes me want to puke, Jason Yeung. If there were anything more homosexual than your site, it would have already burned away the Ozone layer and we'd all be dead. Even the cockroaches would die.

Review of James Yi's Xanga site.

Everyone knows James Yi, right? He writes in his blog:

"Well... yesterday I went to Sacramento... atleast no one mentioned her name to me and asked if I would like to see her... or requested her presence. The last time I saw her... it brought tears inside of me and I couldn't even smile. It was so hard and painful that moment."

Well, James, let me offer you some advice that will be very helpful should you choose to follow it. You're a fag. Accept your homosexuality and you won't suffer over this butt-ass ugly bitch anymore. Whining about how you missed this zit-faced chick isn't going to futher your own pitiful existance. Think of it this way, dumbass-- if this ugly-ass girl already rejected you, doesn't that just show how low you are on the scale of human existance?

You know what else? Your Xanga site is complete bullshit too. All you do is whine about this or that. Grow some fucking nuts, okay? You disgrace the male gender. You insult me by merely existing. What the hell are you trying to accomplish with your site anyways? Want us to buy you tampons, you little faggot?

In conclusion, James Yi's Xanga site is utter faggotry. You can sum it up like this, "Hey. I'm James Yi and I'm a fag. Please buy me tampons to shove up my ass." Avoid this site at all costs.

Some of you may have noticed that I once had a blog-- and that went away-- and now I'm starting a new one. There is a difference between this one and my last one. The difference is subject.